What I’ve Learned Traveling Solo

February 20th, 2019

Yesterday marked two months of traveling. It didn’t occur to me how much I haven’t been counting down the days. Days keep turning into weeks and weeks are turning into months and all of the in between just blends together and time just keeps passing by. It wasn’t until one night outside Lampas, my favorite spot for live music, I was attending a random Hungarian surf rock concert alone (just like every other thing I’ve been doing alone most of this entire trip) when a couple of Hungarian local guys came up to me while I was having a cigarette and wanted to see where I was from and all. I told them who I was, why I was in Budapest, where I am from, and where I plan on going. When I told them I came to Budapest alone, and that even better, I’m S O L O traveling the guys were absolutely shocked. Its like they just saw boobs for the first time. They asked why I would choose to do such a thing? They asked me isn’t it hard experiencing places without anyone? They asked how hard it must be to eat, you know like go and have meals by myself in restaurants. Now I was shocked. It never really occurred to me how scared people are of the idea in being alone, until this conversation. All I could respond was, I just do it. Since this conversation it changed my point of view of traveling. For so long now I’ve been learning everyday something new about being on the road in Europe on your own. But reality is, your never actually alone.

I never really liked the idea of travel blogging and sharing every single experience to the world. I’ve kept a journal and always have wrote everything down as reflection and memories to be able to reflect on down the road when I’m having days of reverse culture shock and missing being a nomad. But this trip has taught me something that more people need to realize. Instead of reading about it or following self-help podcasts or even worse those independent movies with strong female roles. Those are great, trust me. But those are films, based off scripts. I decided to finally share my own script. One that’s real, and rough. Its not all roses and happy endings. Because truly there is no destination I am looking to find. I guess I never really knew what I was trying to find when I left for this trip. Now I want to be able to share my story and hope that my story can give an insight for those of you who have never even considered the thought of what life would be like solo traveling. The thought of going to the most amazing places you’ve ever dream of alone. Going to countless cafes and restaurants and constantly asking for a table for one. My hopes are to show you that you can truly take a leap of faith and chase after anything it is you’ve always wanted to do.

Once realizing all of this, I’ve learned that no matter where I go, what I do, and what place I visit/see. None of that matters. Its all about what you choose to do and be. I’ve learned throughout my time traveling I’ve never actually been alone. You’re probably thinking, ‘Mariah….so far all you’ve talked about is how liberating being alone is’. Well yes, it is liberating. But what no one really warns you or tells you about solo traveling, is how much P E O P L E are the journey itself. Every place I think of that I have traveled to, it wasn’t that 17th century building or that famous spot where some king or queen was incarnated, or even that amazing cathedral that everyone has to pay 10 euros to go in or else you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

The greatest places I’ve ever loved are the places that I met some of the most fulfilling individuals that shaped the energy that place gave. I think about Lisbon and my friend Daniel who worked at Juicy. Daniel invited my friends and I out to a local Portuguese jam session, and from there I had this new perspective of Portuguese and everything about the music there. I’ll always remember Daniel, even if our lives are aligned on different paths. I think about Barcelona and the old friends I was reunited with three years ago during my first time abroad, Alfonso, who wouldn’t stop giving away free liters of sangria at The black sheep. Then to my new friends Toni, Neil, Ezequiel and the hostel one paralello family that made my time in Barcelona one that I almost couldn’t leave. I think about Budapest, and the hardest time adjusting to a new country and language, but thanks to Julietta for being my first gal to roam around the city and spend days drinking hot chocolate and beers.. man I miss you. Julietta taught me that it’s okay to be 23, single, and absolutely carefree. Arad, ooh Arad. Thank you for showing me that people can absolutely change, and that there is a good side and bad side to all of us..thank you for always listening. Savannah and Titouan, you guys made the last few weeks so special. Savanah you were my go to brunch gal and tit you were the funniest french brother I'll ever have. And penny, my New Zealand mate who reminded me that its okay to run away from your life and chase your passions. You showed me that in order to pursue a life we want, we must be brave enough to leave one behind. If it wasn’t for these people there, I almost had left and gave up on seeking positivity in a world of doubt and culture shock. I think about Zagreb Croatia and Paul. Paul who I met randomly in my dorm that became my buddy for coffee, museums and walks about the tiny little city. Paul made me realize that we have the entire world at our fingertips and that we can do anything we want to do at either 20, 26, or 30

Although I have amazing experiences, there will be bad ones. Not all places are going to bring you to meeting ‘the one’ or the friend that you will definitely have at your wedding someday, and I’ve learned to accept that. Life is supposed to be filled with good memories and bad ones. Your supposed to make mistakes and miss out. Your supposed to be heartbroken but also feel more in love then you’ve ever felt. Your going to experience regret that burns and moments where you overflow with happiness. Traveling alone isn’t easy, and its not supposed to be. Yes, there are times where I get sick of myself and want some else to turn my attention towards. Or when your constantly being surrounded of couples and groups and you can't help but be and feel left out. I remember spending the entire day seeing Vienna alone and thought how easy that was. There are days where I want to do my own thing, but there are also days where I wish I had a friend to go grab some wine and gossip about boys. There’s balance in it all.

After talking with my mom on the phone, its not just traveling where this project became so relevant to my life. My mom was telling me about how she lived somewhere in Germany for one year at 16 years old. How much she learned and one thing she said was that,

"Sometimes people leave to travel to escape, but sometimes you cant escape, sometimes the problem lies within yourself."

All I could think about was ‘was I actually running?’ I thought about this for a few days. How I quit two jobs, got a lease takeover and jumped on a plane for Europe 4 days after graduating college and living in Bellingham for 6 years. Was this running? And if this was, what was I running from? I knew I never wanted to stay because I never had a reason to stay. I didn’t know what I wanted and I trusted my intuition that I was made for a place bigger than Bellingham. There wasn’t anything I was trying to escape or run from. I was only trying to run to find what my next purpose was. I was tired of working at a job where I got no fulfillment, I was never improving only degrading my self worth. I was spending years trying to finish a degree I really didn’t know what I would do with. And I was tired of the countless relationships that were failing. Although I was making really good money, and had a very nice place to live and I could afford to keep a living. I was not feeling alive.

I talk about this because solo traveling everyone always carries this certain stereotype that men/woman solo travel because they’re running away from something. And maybe some of us are, but truly solo traveling is just another way of trying to see the world and to find something in this world that is better than the world we left behind. For the rest of my travels I will be collecting more moments of some of the most impacting people I have met over the time abroad. I'm half way through my time traveling and reflecting has taught me so much and given me such an open mind to where I want to go and what I want to do. When I left for this trip I never really had a plan, I never really knew where I would go, and what I was going to do. Now, I've seen more than I could have hoped for, and I will continue to travel alone and see what all this world has to prove. I know its cheesy, but a woman from Holland who I met in a bar in Lisbon, told me,

“Never have any expectations"

And this goes for all. Don’t have expectations on people, on places, and most importantly yourself. So here’s to doing the unthinkable, and traveling alone in this crazy world we live in.

…yes, it really is possible.

-M